HP – Hit Points MP – Magic Points SP – Spirit Points
ATK – Attack DEF – Defense BRV – Bravery
ACC – Accuracy AGI – Agility EXP – Experience
HLY – Holy DRK – Dark POI – Poison
WILD UNKNOWN appeared! What will you do?
Run? Inventory? Skills. Scan.
You retreat to a safe distance surveying the field and all imminent threats. Gigantic boulders surround you with patches of dirt and grass amid the rocky gravel terrain. The towering behemoth in front of you glares in anticipation.
It reeks. The air is heavy with its stink as dense clouds of airy filth choke the life from all manner of biology unfortunate to be caught in the mist.
AGI – 2!
You quickly think back to your childhood and the embellished tales of your elders. The hour has finally come for you to face this battle. You steady your nerves and prepare for combat as your scan of the area finishes its report.
Name: Real Life
MP ???/no such thing*
Susceptible to HLY, DRK, and POI. Immune to speculation and opinions. Absurdly high stagger rate. Is never what it seems, nor is it otherwise. Nobody hits harder.
Seems there was some truth to passed down legends. No matter. You rummage through your backpack for useful items and come across a few boosters courtesy of the cranky, old pilot from a rocket town a few stops back.
Inventory. Stat Plus.
Nothing like a little something to gain the edge in battle. A few more of these and it’ll be goodnight bad guy, hello victory fanfare. The monster might have a few immunities to keep it safe, but a well stocked adventurer is never out of a fight. You break the seal and guzzle the stat boosting elixir with glee.
All parameters temporarily increased by 35!…. It’s cherry flavored!
Refreshing. Surging with increased abilities you ready your weapon and begin circling your opponent. You manage to evade the giant’s foot stomps, but just barely. It is much faster than you expected. You see a break in its movement and change directions mid stride. You see an exposed area near the beast’s abdomen and immediately lock on to the target when suddenly…
Real Life uses Face Slap! 389 HP lost! Inventory has been sealed! All stat buffs reversed!
You go flying backwards crashing through two trees and a boulder. Instinct screams at you to stand and counter attack, but you body fails to respond right away. Not only did it turn your stat boost into a disadvantage, but your backpack was destroyed on impact. All that remains are your wits and weapon.
Inventory? Skills? Attack.
No need to get flustered here. Sure, plan A was a failure. Brush it off. Plans B through Z still remain. Considering the opponent, perhaps that previous tactic was a bit reckless. Circling the giant allowed time for counter measures. Several quick strikes to the outer extremities perhaps? Straight forward, no questions asked battling – your favorite kind. You pick up your weapon and prepare for the next bout. This time, a solid combo. One ripe with slashes, strikes, pokes, smashing and crushing. You wipe the blood from your eyes and check for broken bones before charging ahead.
Combination Strike! 7 hits! 0 damage!
What sorcery is this?! You felt the separation of bone and flesh with each strike, but the monster stands unaffected. You raise your weapon for one last try, but not before taking more damage yourself. The beast lets loose a deafening roar forcing you to your knees in agony.
Real Life countered with Adulthood! AGI -3! MP permanently drained!
Curses. The legends were true. This foe truly is as relentless as they said. More so, actually. Intelligent. Unforgiving. Spiteful even, but not without purpose. You remind yourself that the battle is not yet over, however the possible mutual exclusivity of winning and survival begins to gnaw at your psyche. Victory, it seems, will be at the mercy of your definition.
Just as you begin to stumble to your feet the ground begins to sink, pulling you an everything else down with it. More peculiar than that, you don’t even bother to resist. The dream like surroundings in this new “underworld” are a far cry better than your previous circumstance. Is that a big orange couch with a yo-yo in the middle cushion?
Real Life used Nostalgia! You fell asleep dreaming about the 90’s!
Another clever trick from the enemy! You attempt to ward off the manipulative spell but become flooded with green goop and carbonated orange drink. Out of desperation you perform over-choreographed fighting poses from various Japanese children’s television shows shouting commands at fictional animals. It’s not very effective…
Real Life mocks you and skips a turn! BRV -2!
You try shaking off the reminiscent trance, but the decade’s allure proves to be most potent. In addition, you see that your attacks are having no effect on the creature. You have no intention of giving up, but you are running out of options as well as HP. You toss and turn trying to rouse your body from its slumber managing to just barely open your eyes. Things have certainly looked better for you, but you still have a few tricks left up your bloodied sleeves. You lift you head and grin through the pain.
Skills. Endure! HP will remain at 1 upon killing blow!
Since your attacks have no effect, and since the enemy cannot be outran or outmaneuvered, this will at least buy some time to think of a better strategy. You will never surrender, yet an offensive response is not really an option either at this particular juncture. All the greats have encountered and withstood harsh opposition in unfavorable conditions against daunting odds. No matter the outcome, the skills learned in the heat of battle yield the purest wisdom.
And just like that you remember. You remember who and what exactly you’re dealing with. You remember that this is Real Life, and that experience is earned regardless of the outcome. You feel woozy from the nostalgia blast and haven’t completely woken up but still manage to face the beast and brace for another attack.
Real Life used Rude Awakening! It’s super effective! HP reduced to 1!
An explosion rocks the planet to its very core and sends you skyward. The weightlessness of your body informs your brain that the ensuing impact could prove fatal. You plummet rag doll style down to your grave: a freshly made house-sized crater. Your left arm is barely skin and bones and you can’t feel your legs so you don’t even bother to look.
Dammit. This is it. This is how the your story ends.You tried your absolute best, and you were still reduced to tattered rags and a few gasps of air. You did all you could. It would take a better warrior than you to best this behemoth.
Skills? Attack? Run.
You turn to flee……. You can’t escape reality!
Prayer was answered! HP restored! MP replaced with SP!
Having communed with your Creator, you now see the world for all its benevolence as well as its brutality. You stop holding back. Everything that used to hold you back has become white noise, faint and distant, lost in the endless waltz of eternity. Your prayer was more listening than talking and as always the answer came right on time. Your hands begin trembling as your weapon morphs and contorts into a superior version of itself.
A piercing light shines uncontrollably from the sharp end of the ultimate weapon. The sheer magnificence of the pure attack begins forcing you backwards and down into the gravel. The light bathes the creature, stripping away all defenses and nice chunk of life force.
Real Life revealed its true form! Was actually Lv. 18 Obstacle! 9999 damage!
As you suspected. A seemingly impossible opponent with unbelievable power was but a lie perpetrated those too cowardly to stand and fight till the possible bitter end. They tucked tail and ran leaving behind tales tall enough to cover their backsides with. Had they courage to summon His help… *sigh* Best to leave alone those who wish to remain in the dark.
Attack? Skills. Concentrate.
You push aside your concern for others for the time being to focus on the task at hand. All practice sessions, sparring matches, and training exercises have led you to this precise moment in time. You refused to give up when winning seemed impossible, no way you are backing down now. As you concentrate on your next attack your understanding of the situation begins to grow along with your confidence and your weapon.
AGI + 10! BRV + 7! DEF + 50! ATK + 200!
The overwhelming power exuding from your body weighs heavily on your conscience. You thought this incredible amount of energy would feel intoxicating, however nothing could be farther from the feeling. No excruciatingly raw strength. No bulging super muscles. Calmness. A deeply ingrained peace. One that surpasses all understanding. You know the power is there, yet you feel light as feather in the breeze.
The power is not without perspective. The responsibility. To duty to do what is just, right, and beneficial for the human race. The duty to take care of the business at hand before settle personal accounts. Smirking, you lift yourself off the ground and glide over towards the opposition – an exposed, generic foe.
Wild Obstacle uses Intangibles! Several unrelated issues attempt to cloud your judgement. ACC -1!
You’ve had enough of this monster’s games. You shake off the pathetic attack, rushing forward for the final blow. Your weapon transforms on final time unleashing both it and your latent abilities.
L I M I T B R E A K !
You lunge forward and strike with unparalleled force.
Truth! It’s super effective! Critical hit! 59338093778112 damage! Overkill!
You felled Wild Obstacle!
0 Monies earned!
50,000 EXP earned!
Weapon Level Up! Unlocked “Morph!”
You Level Up! Mastered “Perseverance!”
Wild Obstacle dropped story item “Courage.”
Save game…… saving complete!
Are you sure?…
*/‽/Oh ye of little faith./‽/